Discarded

I waited, but you never came,

Funny, you show up today,

After years of silence,

Ignoring me when I pray….

If you unconditionally love me,

Why treat my soul like a game?

Upset? Because my wild, free spirit,

They tried to, but could not tame?

On the outside surface,

Perfect, I could perfectly be,

But why is that what you want?

Because that girl….well…she’s not me.

I saw, how Jesus gave you

the bullet, the one for your gun….

So when I was younger, I often dreamt of a day,

A glorious day….made especially for me….and freely I could run.

Not worthy of your forgiveness,

My soul, not enough sacrifice, so a savior you sent,

Betrayed, forsaken! Out to you he desperately cried!

You gave him 3 days of the silent treatment mighty Lord,

And for YOUR sin, you now expect ME to repent????

For God so loved the world,

Inevitable sin, all of us he gave,

Given a choice to betray Jesus,

Would you, if instead his life you could save?

Run away from God ,

Run, as fast as you can,

He envies your beauty and power,

That’s why he cast out Satan.

When I surrendered my all,

And I blindly, “followed Him”…

Everything about me, seemed like a flaw,

my inner light faded, slowly becoming dim.

They’re liars! I wasn’t born from a rib!

Thats why I can’t ask questions.

Thats the debt Jesus’ blood paid.

I know from a warrior’s heart I was made!

You still believe all the lies printed?

In that blood stained brochure for heaven they sell?

Satan could be wearing a mask, how are you certain it’s God?

Just think, those pearly gates, could be the entrance to Hell!

When you get discarded there,

Please tell God I say hi!

Tell him I took Jesus with me,

I couldn’t stand there, and let him die.

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Be True

 

Looking into a mirror,

My mother right beside me,

She gently stroked my hair,

She said I hope you can see…

Your hair is beautiful,

Those curls, and that shine,

If you treat it right,

It will grow long, like mine.

She ran her finger,

Down my face, then along my jaw,

She said some will gaze at you,

They will likely be in awe.

She moved behind me,

And said I want you to look,

These curves make you a lady,

Like an aftershock, I quietly shook.

She said your eyes are so intense,

Dreamy and filled with desire,

You can use them also ,

To distinguish a liar.

Then she stood in front of me,

Her eyes looking in mine,

She whispered so softly,

Let me show you what makes you “fine”…

She took my hand into hers,

And placed it on my heart,

To be true to yourself,

This, my love, is where you start.

Your hair, your eyes, your curves,

Will catch their attention,

But don’t you ever forget,

If that’s all that they mention,

If they can’t see your heart,

And the depth within,

Then theirs is not open,

Don’t be fooled into their sin,

Just smile, and say thank you,

The way you always do,

The man with integrity knows,

It isn’t what you are, but WHO.

Does True Love Exist?

Who taught you what love is? We all have a picture in our heads of what love is “supposed” to be…It’s a combination of what we’ve seen that looked like love to us and also things we’ve witnessed that we once determined was not love at all. For me, my grandparents were everything that I thought love should be….They always spoke to each other gently, and the way my grandpa looked at my grandma, even in old age, was magical. He was a tall, handsome carpenter that couldn’t buy her the world, so he built it for her, instead. He liked messing around in his shed….usually making something for her. He would carve little wooden hearts for her, he built little stepping stools, and even a pantry for her. And in their room, she had a special drawer of fancy, lacy night gowns that only he got to see her wear. They did special things for each other. He came home every day for lunch, and they’d watch The Young and the Restless together. He was so quiet, so gentle, so simple….She has always been a talker, and doesn’t shy away from going after what she wants, and like every woman with a passionate heart, complicated; but they were a perfect match. They didn’t have a perfect marriage, however. At times my grandma would try my grandpa’s patience, and this is where I learned the most about love….Instead of cutting her down or complaining about her nagging, he would mosey out to his shed, and paint something. He never stopped loving her.

I have a crystal vase, filled with all the marbles he collected from his paint cans. It also holds all the lucky rocks he found hidden within gravel and creek beds. And when I think back, about us walking hand in hand over so many lots of gravel, and looking around for our special rocks with the rings around them, I realize he was teaching me, that if you look hard enough, and just be patient and relax, and have fun, you will find what you’re looking for much easier. Good things are hard to find because most of the time, they are hidden, in places most people don’t look. We have to be willing to dig through the the mess to find what we desire. Even though my grandparents made being in love look so easy, I know it couldn’t have been, and that’s one of the greatest gifts anyone ever gave me….I know exactly what love looks like…and I never had to wonder if true love existed….I saw it with my own eyes….through their eyes….and it was beautiful.

The Tale of a Mermaid’s Love

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Photography by WestKY INFJ

The Tale of a Mermaid’s Love

Here’s a tale of a mermaid,
That was prized for her heart,
She was mercilessly hunted,
Preyed upon from the start.

They would track her down,
Staying hot on her trail,
Her scent of vulnerability,
A highly intoxicating smell.

Setting the perfect trap,
A seasoned hunters dream,
He cunningly lures her in,
He needs her help, so to seem.

Her supply is soon captured,
It’s warm, soothing, and sweet.
Engulfed in primal addiction,
Growing needs she struggles to meet.

She was raised perfectly soft,
To be a divine energetic treat,
Praised for being a hero,
Accomplishing an incredible feat.

They fed her the usual,
How it’s selfish not to share,
Especially if we have plenty,
It’s how we show others we care.

Proudly, she kept her promise,
To help the creatures of the sea,
She gave all of herself,
And she even did it for free…

She was sold a box of purpose,
Secured with ribbon, tied in a bow,
Bought into this faithful mission,
Sacrificing herself, so others could grow.

If she ever lost herself for fuel,
The love she received in return,
Would be stored inside that box,
A secret stash of energy to burn.

In the eleventh hour, she tugged on that ribbon, squinting to see,
She had put all of her faith upon,
A box that was fucking empty!

In the afterlife she is finally free,
nothing left to lose or to take,
She has no mission or purpose,
No heart for you to break,

Trapped deep within sea shells,
Like the waves of her spirit,
Hold it to your ear and like magic,
Her love, kept perfectly so you can hear it!

LA❤️

Head vs Heart

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Photography by WestKY INFJ

I miss those days,
When we were falling in love,
You said I was your angel,
Sent from heaven above.

I was yours,
And you were mine,
Sweet and tangled together,
Just like a honeysuckle vine.

Because I adored you,
I strived to be better,
But it just wasn’t good enough,
To keep you forever.

For your happiness I prayed,
Each and every plea,
You were my everything,
But you just couldn’t see.

Your expectations of what,
You thought I should be,
Were a painful reminder,
That love never comes free.

I was utterly shocked,
When you threw it away,
But I realize now that,
you never wanted it anyway.

Sometimes in life,
we ultimately fail a test,
Because we simply can’t see,
How much we are blessed.

I had never felt so betrayed,
That’s what I remember most,
Realizing you were gone,
Being left with your ghost.

And now my heart aches,
Every minute of every day,
Because my greatest fear,
Is the price I have to pay.

I thought, how could it be real,
After the lies that you told,
It made me feel worthless,
Then, my heart became cold.

You would always just say,
what I wanted to hear,
At least now I know,
How you really feel, my dear.

I don’t know which hurts more,
Thinking you love me,
Then finding out you don’t.
Or wanting you to love me,
Then realizing you won’t.

Even though, I know now,
That it couldn’t be true,
I was still there….
and to me….
It felt like love with you.

Letting go of something,
That you never even had,
Confused, and having questions,
So many that it drives you mad.

So, is this my curse forever?
Living with a broken heart?
That man holding my life,
Was he just an actor, playing a part?

Saying you don’t know me,
I don’t know how you could,
You never even tried, you….
just ran away from all that’s good.

So, shall we end it like this?
And never look back?
How was it so easy for you?
That’s another quality I lack.

I promise, I will never forget,
Your soul piercing green eyes,
The magical way they sparkled,
Telling me all those cruel lies.

But, that is in my head,
And my heart doesn’t hear,
It doesn’t accept reality,
Or reason, logic, or fear.

It beats while I’m asleep at night,
It beats while I’m awake in the day,
And all it ever fucking says to me,
Is that it wants you to stay.

Whether you love me,
Whether you don’t,
Whether you will,
Or whether you won’t.

Hearts are for feeling,
They don’t know how to lie,
When they break into pieces,
The pain makes you wanna die.

I gave away my heart,
A very long time ago,
I tried to take it back,
But it doesn’t want to let go.

So, I look around now….
And I try to see….
What does life even mean?
Without you and me?

If you would come close,
I’m certain you’d hear,
Steady sounds composing,
Something to ease your fear.

Then you could hold me,
And whisper in my ear….
How you love being with me,
And having me near….

That nothing really matters,
If we end up apart….
Cause we are connected,
Your heart to my heart.

Tell me you’d miss me,
With each pulsating beat,
that my name is a rhythm,
Stuck playing on repeat….

Say your heart hears mine,
And it hears me clearly,
How you were my world,
And how I loved you dearly.

Only trying to love you,
I’m sorry I did it wrong,
All I ever wanted???
To be your favorite song.

So….if you don’t mind,
To tell it just one more lie,
Tell it anything you want,
Just please….don’t tell it goodbye.

LA❤️

The Journey Begins

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of my creator’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.

If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!

Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture!

But when the time of PERFECTION comes, these partial things will become useless.

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.

Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as my creator now knows me completely.

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is LOVE.

Photography by WestKY INFJ